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Sharky

Shark Tank

Now STOP that!

Data center pilot fish gets a call from someone in management with a question: How much does a tape weigh?

I don't know, says fish. What type of tape are you talking about?

Several minutes later, management guy is back. The tapes you send offsite every day, he tells fish. How much do they weigh?

Hmm, says fish. Do you mean the tapes that come from the mainframe or the ones that come from the servers?

Twenty minutes later, management guy is back again. The mainframe tapes, he says.

Can you tell me how much data is on the tape you're asking about? fish asks with a straight face. And do you know if it's compressed or not? And whether the tape is full? And what software was used to write to the tape?

Some time later, management guy returns, this time with a tape in hand -- brand new, never used.

Fish takes it thoughtfully and hefts it. Well, I don't have any scales, fish says. I'll guess it's under two pounds. Why are you asking me about this, anyway?

"Turns out they were looking for a cheaper way to send tapes to offsite storage," fish reports.

"Get this: They were actually looking at sending the tapes by FedEx, UPS and postal mail to see if they could get a better deal -- and not even considering that the data needs to be in offsite storage the same day!"

Send Sharky your true tale of IT life by e-mail: sharky@computerworld.com. You'll get a stylish Shark shirt if I use it. Add your comments below, and read some great old tales in the Sharkives.

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What People Are Saying

Fruit of the Loom

That reminds me of the time I was talking to Larry in the Vat. I had to get going, so I said "well, I'd better get underway." And he's like "what's under weigh?" And I was like "that Depends." And he said "what if they're half weigh?" And I said "then you'd be a plumber." And he said in his most profound voice: "Is it not said that a naked man who flys his spaceship upside-down will have a crackup?"

Fruit of the Loom - Mk2

The saying from many moons ago is-Woman who fly upside down have crackup.

Much more anatomically accurate.

is larry your father?

http://blogs.computerworld.com/14856/and_going_to_stay_that_way_we_hope#comment-161693

Darth Vat and MH Timewalker.

The circle is now complete.

Maybe ...

Maybe the "funny" part of the story is the fact that the manager had, or had access to, a tape and could have easily weighed it himself. (I say "him" self because a woman would have used some unscientific estimate of the weight based on a totally bogus premise, been right, and been done with it. Or perhaps it is just my wife who has this maddening ability.)

TAPES YOU GOTTA BE KDIDDIG

THE LSAT TURLY GRATE PREZZIDENT WE HAD DICHARD MULEHUOSE NEXXON GOT IN TORUBLE BECUASE SMOME ENEMA RECRODED HIM TAHT WHY NO TAPIG ALLOWED AT WROK-PALCE

Nixon

So what your saying is Nixon was his own worst enema?

Tapes

So how do you record what your employees are saying behind their backs? Isn't this a standard management technique?

"NO TAPIG ALLOWED AT WROK-PALCE"

If that's the case, JIM, then there should also be no Scotch tape, either. (The Arch Demon knows you can differentiate between Scotch tape and computer tape as effectively as you can differentiate between your elbow and other body parts/locations.)

No Scotch tape means when JIM THE BOSS MAKS IMPOTENT DENOUNCEMENTS no one can tape them to their cube wall or whiteboard. This, in turn, is why everyone says, "Stick it," after JIM THE BOSS MAKS IMPOTENT DENOUNCEMENTS.

Makes sense.

CAPTCHA: thump Redmond - spread some whoop-a$$ on BLAMMER

Our 'offsite' tape backup

Years back we downsized our computer room.

We had a contract with another company to store our off site tapes. They were growing and needed more space.

Since we had this extra space it was partitioned off with temp walls and leased it back company #2 for tape storage.

We would take our backups over to the off site storage location every morning, they would promptly bring them back to our building and store them.

No body seemed to have a problem with this, after all that side of the computer room was no longer "our" space, therefore the backups were "offsite".

So I see

That someone else is a fan of the BOFH....