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Sharky

Shark Tank

Keeper

It's a few years ago, and this mainframe programmer gets a job at a big company where he reports to a project manager who's, well, pretty set in his ways.

"This project manager had worked only for that Fortune 500 company, except for the years he was drafted in the 1960s," fish says.

"He had started as a computer operator, mounting tapes and putting fan-fold paper in the printers, before working his way up to project manager."

And as fish soon learns, his boss is the kind of guy who sees no reason to discard a technology that's still working, even if a newer technology is faster.

That attitude eventually creates friction when fish's boss gets a new boss of his own: a woman who has also worked her way up through the ranks. But unlike fish's boss, she sees the value in putting laptop computers into the hands of the sales force and using client/server apps to manage customer relationships.

Within a few years, fish's boss is "retired."

That's when fish gets the task of cleaning out seven big file cabinets in his old boss's office.

And what does he find there? "At least a decade's worth of interoffice memos," sighs fish, "plus just about every company e-mail he had ever received -- all printed out and stamped with his name and the date he received it."

Sharky doesn't keep every piece of e-mail, but I'll take special care of your true tale of IT life. Send it to me at sharky@computerworld.com. You'll snag a snazzy Shark shirt if I use it. Add your comments below, and read some great old tales in the Sharkives.

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What People Are Saying

-0

[Yr 2012]
b: are we there yet?
m: [tick-tick-tap, tick-tick-tap...] not yet.
b: you, even if we reached the end of the world, we'd still be doing this.
m: we have to thank the stupendous programmer, stupendous business analst, & stupendous manager who approved this.
b: why?
m: we got job security, man, 3 yrs just trying to get negative zero in excel so that the validating macro will work.

[Yr 2018]
b: are we there yet?
m: [tick-tick-tap, tick-tick-tap...] not yet.
b: we missed Windows 11, SQL 2017, Office 2017.
m: would it matter? everyone's on zinux. or supposed to be.
b: sure was nice for the new company to give us a padded room and white uniforms.
m: yup. retirement age is the only reason we will stop doing trying to enter -0.
b: really good job security.

:-D

Nice work, guys!

It was also called

It was also called affectionately known as a 'Pearl Harbor' file that is used to CYA.

V-K

That's what happens. You fail the Voight-Kampff test, you get "retired."

Looks more like...

He failed the Turing test.

Ancient - but efficient

In 1984 I was put in charge of an old-timer who had been with the company 35 years. His U-shaped cube had papers stacked solidly from the tables up to the bottom of the light fixtures. One day I asked him to retrieve the original of a form letter we'd been photocopying for years. He leaned back in his chair, thought for about 3 seconds, then reached into the middle of one of the stacks and pulled out the paper. I never gave him crap about his "filing system" again.

Heh!

I, an old mainframer, took a DBA job with a Beltway firm who did business on the bleeding edge of the then-new Windows 95/ NT 3.0 wavefront. Every single person in that small company laughed at me for all the paper manuals I brought with me, telling me how idiotic it was to take up (otherwise unused) desk space (no shelves!) with paper when the electronic documentation was so much more convenient. Then the mainframe serving the documentation went kablooey for a day just as a much-valued client called with an obscure technical question that needed answering *at once*, and the appeal of the old-fashioned electricity-free paper manuals was suddenly made manifest to all and sundry. Not only that, it turned out that the electronic versions they had on file only contained the latest documentation, which didn't have the older, unmentioned but decidedly not deprecated stuff in it at all.

Ancient filing system

Actually, I refer to it as "chronological filing" ... last thing on top, first thing on the bottom. It works! Just ask me for something from May 2007 and I'll find it in a minute or two.

Tree killers

I also had a manager that must of had stock in a paper company. She had all of our emails printed out and put into binders. I once had her assistant ask me how to file the latest print out - it was over 200 pages of input for a data conversion from a file attached to an email. I pointed out that not only was this just a test set but there was no need to print out an input file. Not only that but the full conversion was over 2 million records which would span at least 40,000 pages of print-outs. It took a bit of convincing that printing out the input files was not necessary. She still was very concerned that if something happened to the database weโ€™d need a record of the input so we could key it back in.


reCAPTCHA: talizedbySamuel oozumel - wasn't he a famous artist?

Must Have

I'm sorry to get anal, but "must of" is not English. You're confused by the similar sounding "must've" which is a contraction of "must have."

reCAPTCHA: ception bethink - When I consider "ception," I suspect it is what now is known as an "ex-ception."