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Sharky

Shark Tank

First joker doesn't stand a chance

61 comments

TAGS:printer
IT TOPICS:Hardware, Management

This IT pilot fish's job is as a support tech, so naturally he also ends up providing tech support for his friends and family.

One day a friend calls fish at work. Something is wrong with her printer, she says. The power is on, but it won't print, and the display is asking for "printer jam."

Fish promptly instructs her to go to a nearby business supply store and ask for some "printer jam" for her model of printer.

Then he sits back laughing to himself -- no doubt she'll figure it out soon enough, and if she doesn't the clerk at the store will explain it to her -- and takes the next support call.

Half an hour later, friend calls fish again. "I still need help," she says. "The man at the store said they're out of printer jam."

Feed the Shark! Send me your true tale of IT life at sharky@computerworld.com. You'll get a stylish Shark shirt if I use it. Add your comments below, and read some great old tales in the Sharkives.

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From the aircraft industry we have...

Submitted by Mykl on November 16, 2009 - 7:31 P.M.

Magnetic Flux... (I would have brought back a magnet, myself)

Nose wheel harness for a DC3...

and that old favourite, the Long Weight. :)

Other things that sounded like jokes, but weren't, left handed tin snips & rubber nails.

capcha: sponge Taylor Spongebob's cousin?

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everyone does pranks like this

Submitted by Clare on November 4, 2009 - 12:59 P.M.

I guess these kinds of pranks are common everywhere.

--My father told me when he was a Boy Scout, they used to send the new guys out to every hardware store in town looking for a skyhook (which of course, doesn't exist.)

--When I was a theater arts major at Northwestern, one of the professors used to take the gels (sheets of gelatin) that were hung in front of the lights to make them different colors and hand them to some clueless freshman to wash. You can imagine what happened to the gels as soon as the water hit them. So when the hapless freshman came to the professor with the sodden mess, the professor would say, "Well, what kind of water did you use?" If the freshman said, "hot," the prof would say, "well, you should have used cold water" -- and vice versa -- and send the freshman back with another set of gels to ruin!

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everyone does pranks like this

Submitted by LateNightLarry on December 1, 2009 - 7:14 P.M.

Actually skyhooks do exist... they commonly used in creating retail window displays, for hanging trim, clothing, or mannequins from the ceiling grid in the street facing windows. I used them regularly when I was in that retail display field MANY years ago... too many to want to remember how many.

Granted, not too many stores are still doing window displays, or even have windows facing the streets anymore... it's too expensive to change the displays frequently, and too much risk of having the big display windows smashed.

Captcha: goobers Democrat - time to feed the elephant

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Sending the FNG out to

Submitted by Love those FNGs on October 22, 2009 - 10:24 A.M.

Sending the FNG out to get
Batteries for the sound powered telephone or
Keys to the ship

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Good stuff

Submitted by Trapper John on October 22, 2009 - 10:04 A.M.

Some days, the story and the comments are so good that JIM just can't add anything. :-)

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"Some days,. . .JIM just can't add anything."

Submitted by The Arch Demon on October 22, 2009 - 11:51 A.M.

Since when has that every stopped him?

CAPTCHA: Harold ardmore -- Don't know him. Maybe JIM FRIERED him.

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"Some days,...JIM just can't add anything."

Submitted by The Arch Demon on October 22, 2009 - 10:31 A.M.

Since when has that ever stopped him?

CAPTCHA: the shriek -- JTB coming out of his office?

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Not So Sure

Submitted by Old Salt on October 22, 2009 - 9:38 A.M.

It is my belief that when a store clerk has no idea what a customer is asking for, the easiest way out is to just say "We are out of that". It's the same as when you call to see if something is in stock, and they quickly reply "No". I tend to have the feeling that the person didn't want to be bothered to check. If they say "No", the caller just goes away and is none the wiser. But, I may be a little to cynical.

ing macbride -- the guy who got all the money???

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Bit Bucket Full

Submitted by The Old Crab on October 22, 2009 - 9:35 A.M.

When I was in the USAF I was stationed at the Pentagon, and we ran on an IBM 360-75. Under the shelf in front of the "light panel" was a tip-out box that I think was used to hold some kind of processor-related technical manual, which had long since been removed and safely sequestered in the CE room. So, the tip-out box was empty, and was jokingly referred to as the "bit bucket".
.
So one day we have a system problem that screws up production, and after our tech-sergeant system programmer got things running again, some GS-super-grade civilian PHB wants to know what the problem was, and our tech-sergeant said that the bit bucket got full, and took him over to the tip-out bin to show him that (1) the system was now running and (2) the "bit-bucket" was now empty. Apparently the GS-type believed him.
.
I would love to have read his report ...
.
--- The Old Crab

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Bit Bucket

Submitted by Anonymous on October 26, 2009 - 5:07 P.M.

When I was in the Navy working in communication centers years ago we had a lot of teletypes that would produce 'chad' (yes, similar to the infamous chad in the Florida voting mess). The paper type would be punched producing small round bits of paper that would fall into a chad bin. Now, we used two colors of paper tape, yellow for one classification, pink for another. When the chad bins were emptied, usually you just dumped it all in a burn bag and threw it out. The chad itself had no intelligence on it, just the paper tape. Of course the FNG didn't know that, and they were absolutely terrified being around all the classifed stuff. So when we sent them to empty the chad bins and they mixed them, we would of course shake our heads sadly and make them start seperating the millions of little yellow and pink bits of paper. After a few hours of this, we'd consider them broken in, and clue them in. There was another good trick with 7 layer rolls of paper and carbon, but that one is pretty complex to explain.

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