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Sharky

Shark Tank

Probably just a screw loose

Pilot fish gets a call from a department manager on the other side of the building, who's complaining that all the network printers in his area have stopped working.

"After looking at the server and determining that it was a local problem, I went over to the department to check on the printers," says fish.

"I found out that the department head was a do-it-yourself type of person, and without telling anybody, he had disassembled all the cubicles in his area and reassembled them for a new layout he wanted for his employees."

And in the process, fish discovers, the department head has unplugged the printers from their original network ports, moved them and plugged them back into completely different network ports -- all of which are inactive.

Fish plugs the printers back into their original network ports and verifies that they're back online. Then he explains to the department head that for security reasons IT doesn't keep unused network ports active.

Then fish returns to his desk.

Ten minutes after he's back in his office, fish's phone rings again. It's from an irate employee in the same department, complaining that that the printers still aren't working.

Fish takes the long walk to the department again -- and as soon as he gets there, it doesn't take long to find out what happened.

It seems that, as soon as fish left, the department head made more changes to the cubicle layout. And in the process he unplugged the printers again and plugged them back into the inactive network ports that fish had just told him wouldn't work.

Then he left for the day.

"As I moved the printer cables back to their original ports again, the irate employee who called me actually started complaining that he didn't understand why the printers kept going down," fish says.

"Biting my tongue, I simply told him there was a recurring problem between the chair and the keyboard at his supervisor's station."

Sharky's got an easy way for you to test your network connection: Send me your true tale of IT life at sharky@computerworld.com. You'll snag a snazzy Shark shirt if I use it. Add your comments below, and read some great old tales in the Sharkives.

Now you can post your own stories of IT ridiculousness at Shark Bait. Join today and vent your IT frustrations to people who've been there, done that.

What People Are Saying

Haiku

Office is quiet
After manager input
Printers are all still

Terminal Stupidity

We had a damager pull something like that about 5 weeks ago.

Over the weekend, and with absolutely no notice to IT; this dumb@$$ decided to pull the cubicle shuffle. Like many other companies, our inactive ports are disabled. Well come Monday, when his people could not access the company apps, well guess what "Hit The Fan". It was all IT's fault (or at least that is what he had thought).

Instead of going to the head of IT, and asking for the ports to be turned on; he goes straight to the boss (the owner). Unlike this ID10T, the owner is NOT technically clueless; and was aware that unused ports are dead, and more importantly - WHY!

ID10T makes a lot of noise about the situation, and the IT department head is told to "deal with it". I went around, and determined which stations were now in use, and which ones have been "abandoned". After about 10 minutes in the server room, the ports were 'adjusted'. (We do not disable the port on the switch, we actually UNPLUG those not in use.)

I checked to make sure that the employees had network access. Total time to deal with this about 30 minutes. I passed the 'good' news on to the IT department head. One less worry on her mind. Later that day, she and the owner went to lunch; I do not know what was discussed, but she came back into the office with a smirk on her face.

Come Friday, we all knew why! One less ID10T on the payroll.

Is it "that that" day today?

What does fish expect? (That that is what's called a "rhetorical" question; I don't really care to know what fish actually expects. It is a figure of speech. You can't take everything you read literally.) If his company is going to employ U-Build-It robots as department heads, then this kind of thing is going to happen. Once they get something into their program, they just keep going at it.

P.S. - the fish needs to see an oral surgeon or a neurologist if he keeps biting his tongue.

'Is it "that that" day today?'

'It depends on what the meaning of the words "is" is.' -- A member of the Philanderer Hall-of-Fame

P.S. -- There is no need to employ U-Buid-It robots as department heads if you have JIM THE BOSS.

CAPTCHA: peterson artist -- Picasso, yes. Rembrandt, yes. Babmbi, definitely. Peterson, no so sure...

Panduit has a solution

Panduit has these neat locks that prevent the network cables from being disconnected from either end. It requires a special key to disconnect the network cable from the device, patch panel, or wall jack.
We are planning on using them in a new building in a high-crime area to prevent IP Phones and thin clients from walking.

CAPTCHA: day-care whoa - Sounds like the costs have risen again!

Strong Connector, Weak Cable

What's to stop someone from cutting the cable and adding a new connector for use in a "new location?"

reCAPTCHA: California tankful - No more comments from California?

Move/theft deterrent

These will never stop someone bound and determined to steal or move things. All it does is give them pause and think about what they are doing or prevent them from having the time to get the item disconnected before someone sees them stealing it. For someone who is told not to move things and knows it is company policy, it will stop them cold.

Discourage Inactive Port Use

Post a sign that the department head will not be able to ignore, letting him know not to use a connection that has no data on it:

JACK OFF!

Hopefully he won't take it personally.

Heehee, memory flashback

We used to have an employee named Jack many years ago. His supervisor, a Baptist preacher on the weekends, had a big calender on the wall where he would write down employee days off or if employees normally off on that day would be working. He caught a tremendous amount of grief when he had written in red ink "Jack off" five consecutive days and word got around the plant about it :-)

CAPTCHA viously pope. Hmm, don't think the Baptists have a lot of regard for that guy ;-)

Bad JACK!!! BAD!!!

No days off for Jack; JTB should FRIER him!

CAPTCHA: peskiest Elizabeth--a PITA Queen for sure!