Android Power Round: Gingerbread news, Nokia blues, and the Xoom's womb bloom

By JR Raphael

We're in the midst of mobile tech's busiest season. The Mobile World Congress is about to kick off in Barcelona, the CTIA Wireless show is right behind it, and a brand new Android platform is likely days away from its debut.

There's a lot to digest -- and we're here to make sure you get a good taste of it all. Yes, friends, it's time for a freshly baked edition of the Android Power Round, our fast-paced and light-hearted look at the week's most interesting Android news.

This week:

Google's updating. Google releases an Android Gingerbread update that lets developers use NFC-based functions. Still pending is the feature that lets most users use Android Gingerbread.

Gingerbread's expanding. New reports suggest an updated 2.4 version of Gingerbread could appear in April. Old reports suggest it'll be another six to eight months before any Samsung phone sees it.

Samsung's renaming. Samsung announces its new line of mobile device processors will be called "Exynos." In case you're wondering, the official pronunciation is: "How do you say that again?"

Nokia's rebooting. Nokia says it's going with Windows Phone 7, not Android, for its future smartphones. In other words, you can continue to ignore Nokia.

Companies are sparring. In response to Nokia's Microsoft plan, Google exec Vic Gundotra tweets: "Two turkeys do not make an eagle." "They do, however, make a lovely bisque," he forgot to add.

Sprint is performing. Sprint holds a glittery event to unveil its new Kyocera Echo Android phone. We watched the event in mute, and best we can tell, the phone comes with two screens, a lot of hype, and some douchey-looking guy named David Blaine.

Sony's playing. Sony says its long-rumored Playstation phone is real, and it's spectacular. Still no word, however, on the Sega Genesis microwave.

AT&T's trying. AT&T launches a new "Mobile to Any Mobile" calling plan. For $20 a month, you can make unlimited calls to any cell phone on any network, and they won't go through.

The Xoom is a-zoomin'. Pricing and Wi-Fi rumors heat up for the Motorola Xoom. Not that any of it matters, of course -- those Android tablets are all just "bizarre" and "vapor," remember?

Android's dominating. Android sails past Apple to become the #2 smartphone platform in the U.S. and the world. In response, Apple COO Tim Cook says the data is all just "far-out condensation."

(Disclaimer: The Android Power Round is heavy in snark, sarcasm, and unsaturated fat. Enjoyment of this product should be attempted only by healthy individuals who have not recently undergone humor-bypass procedures. Recommended for external use only.)

JR Raphael writes about smartphones and other tasty technology. You can find him on Facebook, on Twitter, or at eSarcasm, his geek-humor getaway.

Article copyright 2011 JR Raphael. All rights reserved.