"iPad 2 will FAIL in enterprise." O RLY, Dell?

By Richi Jennings. March 30, 2011.

A Dell marketing muckety-muck chucked muck at Apple's iPad 2 down under. Dell big cheese Andy Lark says the iPad ain't so magical when you get it in an enterprise. He also claims it's horrifically expensive. In IT Blogwatch, bloggers dissect Dell's dissembling.

Your humble blogwatcher curated these bloggy bits for your entertainment. Not to mention The existential despair of Charles Schulz's Peanuts...
(AAPL) (DELL)

Updated 8.50am EDT: Chris Davies' Aussie dollar calculation. 

Listen, Lisa Banks doesn't star in Caprica:

In Sydney ... Australia ... Dell’s global head of marketing for large ... organisations, Andy Lark, said while the ... [Apple iPad] would ultimately fail in the enterprise. ... “[Apple has] done a really nice job ... but the challenge they’ve got is that already Android is outpacing them. Apple is great if you’ve got a lot of money ... [but not] if you have to exist in a diverse, open, connected enterprise.”
...
Lark claimed Dell had taken an enterprise approach toward tablet PCs, which would ultimately give the company ... an edge. ...  Lark claimed that the economics on a fully kitted iPad did not add up ... [and that] the market was increasingly moving away from Apple's iOS4 offering.

When in Rome, write like Nick Farrell does:

[It] has to be the most stinging attack on the Jobs' Mob cargo-cult since the last time I wrote something. ... While Lark said Apple had ignited the tablet opportunity ... it would ultimately fall to more "open" competitors ... [and] Apple was only great if you have a lot of cash and live on an island.
...
Dell's long-term approach to tablets relies heavily on enterprise adoption and it is hedging its bets when it comes to tablet operating systems ... "mix and match Windows 7 with Android Honeycomb." ... It has begun showing off a 10-inch tablet that will compete with the iPad later this year.

Joshua Schnell comes right out and says what he feels:

What is it with all of these executives? They touch down in Australia, and then suddenly they think it’s fair game to make stuff up. ... He went on to say, “An iPad with a keyboard, a mouse and a case [means] you’ll be at $1500 or $1600.”
...
Just so we’re not playing accomplice to ... some head honcho over at Dell, we thought we’d do some math. We know, addition is hard. ... iPad ... Apple Wireless Keyboard ... iPad Dock ... iPad Smart Cover ... $666.
...
Marketing executives talking at conferences are free to make stuff up at will. ... Apple’s taken a lot of heat over their reality distortion field, but it’s pretty obvious that Dell’s is malfunctioning.

But Chris Davies is a little more understanding:

He was likely talking in Australian dollars.
...
The top-end, 64GB iPad 2 WiFi + 3G (at $AU949) paired with Apple’s Bluetooth keyboard and a leather Smart Cover ... [is] less than $1,130.
...
If you can’t beat ‘em, slate ‘em.

And Steven Sande does more pointing and laughing:

Apparently Lark has no idea that the iPad doesn't need a mouse. It uses a magical and revolutionary "touch screen." ... In the annals of Dell executive history, this has to go down as a pretty impressive foot-in-mouth comment.
...
Looks like it's time for Andy to ... learn a little bit about his competitors. It might also help to brush up on those math skills.

Meanwhile, Foe Hammer mixes a metaphor or two:

Denial is a River in Egypt. ... Just so happens that there's some mind-altering drug in its water. And this guy's been drinking barrels from it.

 
And Finally...
3eanuts: The existential despair of Charles Schulz's Peanuts comic
[hat tip: Rich Johnston]
 
 
Don't miss out on IT Blogwatch:

• Subscribe to the Computerworld Blogs newsletter
• Catch up with posts from the previous few days

Richi Jennings is an independent analyst/consultant, specializing in blogging, email, and security. A cross-functional IT geek since 1985, you can follow him as @richi on Twitter, pretend to be richij's friend on Facebook, or just use good old email: itbw@richij.com.

You can also read Richi's full profile and disclosure of his industry affiliations.