Not exactly the result he had in mind

Flashback to the early 2000s, when this pilot fish gets a job as an all-around IT guy in charge of a network of more than 100 PCs -- including a few Linux desktops.

"I had only ever touched on Linux when I started, but soon I came to really enjoy working with it," says fish. "It was nowhere near as polished as Windows at the time, but it did the job and ran all the stuff that we needed our users to access.

"Not long after I got into the groove of my new job, I was tasked to build and roll out ten more desktops using Linux. My Linux desktops actually booted twice as fast as the current hardware running Windows, and we liked the fact that we could nail down Linux the way that we wanted it."

But one user doesn't share fish's enthusiasm -- a big bear of a user who has a lot of pull with the big boss. Fish and his manager have to tread lightly when it's time to roll out Mr. Bear's new desktop.

And they're only somewhat successful. Fish's manager can deflect most of Mr. Bear's complaints about not having a "real PC."

But a big part of what this user hates is being excluded from time-wasting interoffice e-mail attachments, and one day when fish's manager is out of the office, Mr. Bear announces he's had it -- and fish has to handle the trouble ticket.

"I approached him at his desk to ask what was wrong," fish says. "Expletives rained on me like a string of firecrackers. White foam and spit shot toward me every time he yelled a word that started with the letter F.

"He pointed and jabbed at the screen: 'THERE, YOU SEE THAT, I CAN'T OPEN ATTACHMENTS AND DO MY JOB WITH THIS @#$%!'"

Fish looks -- and it's definitely a file Mr. Bear can't open in Linux, because it's a Windows .exe.

But fish also recognizes the attachment, a well-known virus that comes packaged with the title "This is the file with the information that you ask for."

Fish tells Mr. Bear that he'll deal with the problem straight away. Then he returns to his desk and writes an e-mail to his manager outlining the terror he's just endured.

"The issue was escalated back to the big boss," reports fish. "I was given a pat on the back for preventing a virus outbreak on the network with my Linux boxes. Mr. Bear got told to put up or shut up when it came to why he couldn't use the Linux desktop.

"And another ten Linux boxes were instantly commissioned for other high-risk users."

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