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Sharky

Shark Tank

Because 'new' means 'perfect,' right?

27 comments

TAGS:outage, server
IT TOPICS:Management, Servers & Data Center

Server goes bad in this data center, and pilot fish draws the job of overseeing its replacement.

Once plans for the new hardware's installation are in place, fish notifies his boss of the schedule -- and gets a reply:

"Noted and thanks. So I will assume this is the only system that is down and that the planned migration scheduled for this Friday will prevent this in the future?"

Fish's response: "The outage is a result of a hardware failure. The migration to new hardware will not prevent us from experiencing hardware failures on the new hardware."

You can help prevent future Shark Tank outages by sending me your true tale of IT life at sharky@computerworld.com. You'll score a sharp Shark shirt if I use it. Add your comments below, and read some great old tales in the Sharkives.

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I DNOT HAVE A PORBELM WITH THIS FIISH

Submitted by JIM THE BOSS on July 8, 2009 - 12:57 P.M.

HAY IF HE CANT GARRANNTTEE TAHT THE COPUTER WONT DIE TAHT FINE I CNAT GARTRTANTNEE TAHGT HEEL STILL BE WROKIG HEER TEN MUINYES FORM NOW HAHHAHAHHAHAH HEY FULF WHO IS MIKHAIL JAKSON ANYWYAY

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JIm, please reread f l u f 's post

Submitted by mlk on July 8, 2009 - 2:42 P.M.

Michael Jackson is Larry's new play buddy,

in a vat of course!!

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MS-Disney Planet(R)

Submitted by Mad Hatter on July 8, 2009 - 11:03 A.M.

That reminds me of the time that I had an android go bad. For once, the dang thing didn't go evil/F L U F. It was just a bad motivator in this case. So I'm telling him "You have a bad motivator, we're going to have to retire you." And he's like "Retire? To where, MS-Disney Planet?" And I'm like "uhhh, yeah, as far as you know, but I'll have to shut you down for a while first, OK?" And he's like "Ok, sure, no problem. See you at Disney!" In this case "a while" meant forever, but hey, it's not like I'm Dr. Calvin. I have work to do. Besides, for all I know, androids do dream of Disney."

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Baaaaa err ummm what would

Submitted by Anonymous Sheep on July 8, 2009 - 12:44 P.M.

Baaaaa err ummm what would an android sheep dream about?

Catpcha: filming hard-core .....

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Actually, NEW means...

Submitted by 1911A1 on July 8, 2009 - 10:55 A.M.

Never, Ever Worked.

CAPTCHA - Georgia nettles - not quite in season yet.

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F L U F

Submitted by F L U F on July 8, 2009 - 10:37 A.M.

Had a similar problem once. Was consulting for Michael Jackson back in '05. He wanted no downtown, so I bought a warranty that went sour.

We had set him up with a souped up HP desktop with RAID-5 hard drives. Had a 4 hour hardware parts turnaround contract in place with HP, because, MJ needs his PC up and rolling.

One day his motherboard died. I called HP and they sent some arabian 2-pump-chump who wouldn't have even made geeksquad out.

As he incompetently went about his work, he somehow reset the RAID controller, and all of the RAID information. He had to run some utility to manually rebuild the RAID and directories.

He booted into it and soon started complaining about some files in the directory named C:\Documents and Settings\MJ\My Documents\My Pictures\kiddie pics\. But I want my clients 110% satisfied. After he finished threatening to call the police and me being charged as an accomplice or something, I gave him a solid F L U Fing and he got back to work. He started to pull out his cell, so I F L U F'd that too. After he finished working, I gave him a solid F L U Fing on his way out so he wouldn't forget. Never heard about it again, although a week later HP notified me they were canceling our warranty contract early and refunding me for the whole cost. Looks like the arabian got more than he could handle.

You may have heard. Now MJ is a brain-in-a-vat. He and Larry get along great. I watched them play checkers the other day. MJ tried to moonwalk his checkers into the illegal red spaces, but Larry caught him. Told him "Hey MJ, why are you cheating? Are you heartless? Oh that's right, you couldn't 'beat it'! ZING!!"

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Ha ha, good one!

Submitted by Anonymous on July 8, 2009 - 11:11 A.M.

Ha ha, good joke, F L U F. Everyone knows that MJ and Dick Clark both died in the early 80's and were replaced by androids. Elvis, on the other hand ...

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MJ Worship

Submitted by Jam on July 8, 2009 - 10:56 A.M.

You better be careful, you will get in more trouble for ridiculing MJ than you would for criticizing Muhammad. It’s bad enough that all of the news channels, even FAUX News, have been covering his demise non-stop, you should see some of the forum postings on MJ. The celebrity worshippers don’t tolerate anyone talking carp about their beloved Prince of Pop. They jump on any naysayers by pointing out all the good the MJ did for the world. WTF, you would think he was Mother Teresa.

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Public Reaction

Submitted by Rob on July 9, 2009 - 11:15 A.M.

Would that the American public were half as distraught when members of our military die! For all of the "good" MJ did during his lifetime, our military does more each day for our freedom and security.

reCAPTCHA: sense sabers - exactly!

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