Honest technology executives

Wouldn't it be nice if just for one day that the top brass of the technology companies would actually tell us the truth? Can you imagine what it would be like?

Microsoft CEO, Steve Ballmer: "Hey, I'm just a sales guy who's in over my head. I know I deserve to be fired, but I'm a great number two. Want to buy a copy of Vista with a free upgrade coupon for Windows Seven?

Microsoft Chief Software Architect, Ray Ozzie: "Yes, please fire Ballmer with his dancing bear act and his broken volume control, and put me in charge. Now."

Microsoft Chairman, Bill Gates: "Me? Are you talking to me? I'm worth $38.7 billion and I'm out of here. If you think I'm going to spend my time pulling Microsoft's logs out of the fire, think again. It's up to you two now. Melinda, is the starship packed yet?"

Yahoo CEO, Jerry Yang: "If you think you can run Yahoo better than I can, you're going to pay big bucks for the chance to prove it. Otherwise, don't let the door hit on the backside on the way out. That goes for you too Carl Icahn."

SCO CEO, Darl McBride: "Unix code in Linux? Come on, you really think I believed that? By the way, I could run Microsoft. I will be looking for a job soon and I already know about working for Microsoft's benefit."

Symantec CEO, John W. Thompson: "OK, so we really don't know what we're talking about when it comes to computer security anymore and maybe we're more at fault than Microsoft with the XP SP3 update mess, but so long as you keep buying our stuff anyway, who cares?"

Twitter CEO, Jack Dorsey: "We are so dead. Blaine Cook and Lee Mighdol are history. Is there a genius Ruby developer in the house? We don't have a clue on how to handle our load. Oh, and if you give us a few more million in venture capital, maybe we can cash out before it's too late."

Apple CEO, Steve Jobs: "Apple is the best. Period. End of statement."

Oh wait, Jobs already does tell the truth as he sees it doesn't he? I guess, Jobs is the exception that proves the rule.