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Sharky

Shark Tank

Shark Tank: Isn't that special?

This user works the graveyard shift, and he needs help with a password issue. Analyst pilot fish is on call, so at 11:15 p.m. he gets the user on the phone.

Fish: I need you to think of a password that is eight or more characters, numbers, letters and a special character, then tell me what you want it to be and I will create it for you.

User: "One, one, two, zero."

Fish: OK, that's four. It needs to be eight or more characters.

User: "A."

Fish: One, one, two, zero, A. That's five. It has to be at least eight characters.

User: "C."

Fish: OK, that's six.

User: "K."

Fish: One, one, two, zero, A, C, K. That's seven. Now we need a special character, anything that is not a number or a letter.

User: "What kind of special character?"

Fish: Um, anything that is not a number or a letter.

User: "Cat."

Fish: Cat? Cat is a word.

User: "Heart."

Fish: Heart?

User: "Uh-huh."

Fish: Where do you see this on the keyboard?

User: "Oh, you need something on the keyboard?"

Fish: Yes.

User: "OK, pound sound."

Fish: Pound sound?

User: "Uh-huh, on the number 3."

Fish: "Oh, the pound sign.

"I repeated the entire new password, confirmed the user ID and made the change," says fish. "The conversation ended shortly after this point.

"At 6:25 a.m. the next morning, Fred from the help desk called me to report a password issue.

"It's the same user."

Submit your own true tales of IT life to sharky@computerworld.com. If Sharky uses it, you'll snag a snazzy Shark Tank shirt! You can also add comments by using the form at the bottom of this page.

See more Shark Tank stories at the Sharkives.

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What People Are Saying

I tried the "sentence as

I tried the "sentence as password" thing, instead of my "variant on". The trouble was (a) one system I didn't use again for three months, so couldn't remember what I had used and (b) when I tried it on my network log-on, where you only have three strikes and you are out, the cleaners actually cleaned the desks over the holiday and moved stuff! Typically, muggins here couldn't remember which Christmas Card I had used...
Roll on the use of smart cards, secure tokens and, better still, biometrics. At least I can't forget my finger (even if I would sometimes forget my head if it wasn't screwed on).

Hey, maybe I get to be the

Hey, maybe I get to be the last to post.
You guys who think ALL users can be taught to think like you kill me. Maybe 99% of the people out there have some basic smarts. But wait - there is 1% of the people out there who will NEVER remember a password and they probably work at your company. And mine. And that 1% guy was the guy who called our on-call fish. And fish did everything right -- he fixed the guy up and went to bed!
Odd, what transpired from 11:15 unit 6:45am?
And the "cat" part has me still in tears!

I used to get calls from

I used to get calls from users complaining that they couldn't change their password. They were attempting to change it to the same password as it was previously.
I had to explain that using the same password is not a change. And I had to explain it over and over and over...

Fish needs to learn to set

Fish needs to learn to set up users to succeed, not to fail.
When I'm in this situation, I have the user give me a sentence they are sure they can remember. I then show them how to base the password on the first letter of each word in the sentence. Then I have them capitalize the first letter and add 1! at the end. Voila - a reasonably strong password rolled rolled up with a strategy they can use going forward to create future passwords. Not rocket science. People are not computers - but they can be dealt with if you use a little common sense.

"Fish needs to learn to set

"Fish needs to learn to set up users to succeed, not to fail. When I'm in this situation, I have the user give me a sentence they are sure they can remember."

Right... then next week they call and ask what the sentence was exactly because "I am an idiot" is now "I'm an idiot" and their password is no longer long enough.

Next month they call because the system won't let them change their password based upon "Every good boy like grapes" to one based upon "Each girl bought lovely greens."

You aren't teaching them to succeed until you can get through to them *what* they are trying to accomplish.

I found this Shark Tank

I found this Shark Tank amusing because it has an extra twist beyond the usual "I forgot my password story." I had a very similar experience recently helping a close relative who knows almost nothing about technology.

The humor of "JIM's" postings wore out about halfway through his first posting. His other postings are easy enough to ignore. The problem now is that half the comments seem to be about his postings. (Oh darn, I just contributed to the problem.) I can't skip past the comments about him until I read them and find out that's what they are.

Sigh. If this keeps up, I'll just stop reading the comments entirely.

Promise?

Promise?

We do the technology because

We do the technology because we love it. What we get paid for is to deal with users. I read that somewhere a long time ago. It would just be nice if the users could get a clue.

I think Jim is a user.

If fish was really thinking,

If fish was really thinking, heshe would have anticipated the call. The thing to remember about passwords is
1. They are defeated if written down.
2. They are strong only if truly random.
3. Every administrator in an organization is a security breach. A backdoor by definition.
So ultimately every CIO that signs for SAROX accountability has a getoutofjail free card.

Postdiluvan Paladin.... you

Postdiluvan Paladin.... you were wondering...
"Cymbols? What key is that?"

I could be wrong but I always thought it was the "(" and ")" keys pressed together.