Man surgically slices thumbs for the iPhone

Check out this timely piece of satire: The North Denver News reports in a satirical piece that a Colorado man has had his thumbs surgically whittled down so that he can more easily use Apple's phone.

The satire says that Thomas Martel of Bonnie Brae, Colorado was frustrated because his big hands can't easily hit the right buttons on his new phone. So he turned to Dr. Robert Fox Spars, who sliced into both of Martel's thumbs, then whittled down the bones, and performed surgery on Martel's muscles and fingernails.

All in the name of productivity.

"Sure, the procedure was expensive, but when I think of all the time I save by being able to use modern handhelds so much faster, I really think the surgery will pay for itself in ten to fifteen years," Martel says in the satire

Doctor Spars added, "We're turning plastic surgery from something that people use in service of vanity, to a real tool for improving workplace efficiency."

I'm not sure which is more twisted, going under the knife because you don't like your nose, or because you believe it will make you more productive at work.

The article was satirical, but given the times we live in, is not so far-fetched. What's next, implanting extra fingers for faster typing? How about embedding a trackball directly into the palm of your hand, so you needn't reach for a mouse any longer?