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Sharky

Shark Tank

Shark Tank: Questions, Questions, Questions

Who Needs It?

User buys his own laptop and brings it to this IT pilot fish to load VPN software on it. But the machine comes with Windows Vista Home, and the VPN client software refuses to install -- instead, it gives an error message saying that it needs an upgrade to Vista Professional first. "I voice-mailed the user and explained that our VPN software wasn't compatible with Windows Vista Home so I couldn't install it," fish says. "The voice mail I received back: 'I don't even know what that Windows Vista thing is anyway, so you have my permission to remove it from my laptop so I can get the VPN software.' Yeah, OK, I'll do that, but you're going to have bigger issues. ..."

Well, That Is a Question

This company migrates to Active Directory and decides to use it as a centralized repository for user information -- such as the site where the user works, address, phone numbers, manager's name. "Periodically, we send out reminders to the users to check their personal information and update it if necessary to make sure it remains current," says a pilot fish on the scene. "I sent one such e-mail with the standard closing telling users to contact me if they have any difficulties or questions. I received a reply from one of my users who simply asked, 'Who's my manager?'"

Cause and Effect

It's the 1990s, and Fred the PC networking manager is up on the sixth floor, dropping off a package that was mistakenly delivered to him. "As he left to get on the elevator, Fred saw and said hello to one of the sixth-floor denizens," reports a pilot fish in the know. "He then returned to his office on the third floor. The next day, fish's group was assigned a help desk ticket reading: 'Fred was on the sixth floor yesterday, and ever since then, the mainframe terminals have not been working properly.' This was a serious help desk ticket -- even though Fred had no responsibility for or access to the mainframes."

Chicken Soup for the Clueless Soul

Pilot fish is covering the help desk at this small college when a call comes in from a former student -- one who graduated a decade earlier. "Does Bob Smith still work there?" the caller asks. Yes he does, fish confirms. "Could you track Bob down and get his chicken and wild rice soup recipe?" asks caller. Sighs fish, "I reminded the caller that he was speaking with the information technology help desk. He told me that if I couldn't get the recipe, then I had no information that would help him."

You can help out Sharky by sending me your true tale of IT life at sharky@computerworld.com. You'll score a snazzy Shark shirt if I use it.

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What People Are Saying

I'm glad we have clueless

I'm glad we have clueless users, how boring life would be without them. Be kind to them and remember, to people smarter than you, you are the clueless. Thank you JIM for bringing your wit and wisdom to us poor wayfaring souls. I'm ready to frie some fish and taters... see ya later.

Quark - Black dockers,

Quark - Black dockers, forest green shirt, white boxers with little red hearts on them ...oops, did I go to far? :-) You'll have to ask my wife why she buys the red socks. :-)

I'm glad that Bogey is so

I'm glad that Bogey is so excited about his clothing choices, I always have trouble figuring out what to wear with my red socks. Why would anyone buy something like that?

Hey, k., I've been a Cards

Hey, k., I've been a Cards fan since 1968! I wonder how our new GM will do? If we could get ARod for 5 million or so, that would be good.;-)

And Robinson, ST is all about fun. If you don't want to have fun, try Shark Bait.

Yes, he would look good in a

Yes, he would look good in a Cards uniform

my cards could use a

my cards could use a shortstop

Bye the way, sorry Colorado

Bye the way, sorry Colorado fans, but YEA REDSOXS!! Had to wait a long time for the last one, so glad I didn't have to wait that long for the next. Also, as an aside, bye bye ARod from the Yanks. Where next? Chicago? LA? Boston?

Anonymiss - Maybe he meant

Anonymiss - Maybe he meant 2008. :-)

Every thousand years or so

Every thousand years or so someone gets a clue or every millionth or so human born gets a clue, other than that, not much happens.

As the toilet water said to

As the toilet water said to the newest contestant to enter the ring - we are not amused. And don't forget to flush.