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Sharky

Shark Tank

Shark Tank: It's all about communication

Yes, No, No ...

Pilot fish gets an opportunity for a week of training, room and board paid for by the training company. All he needs is money for travel and approval from his boss. "I sent an e-mail to the boss asking for his approval to apply," says fish. "I received a reply in the affirmative. Then I sent another e-mail asking how to go about getting travel to said training. Travel denied. I explained that the training was free and that the room and board was free -- I just needed to get there and back. I included the documentation, and I even offered to pay my own way if I could have an authorized absence for that week. Denied again. Result: Opportunity lost. Why am I leaving this job again?"

What Else?

It's way back when, and this engineer is working on programming some warning lights and buzzers for an unloading system in a manufacturing plant. "He worked late one night, and when we came in the next morning, the lights were flashing and the buzzer was going off," says a pilot fish on the scene. "When we tried to get into the system to reset it, he had programmed a password before you could get in. We called him to find out what the password was while his manager was looking for something to stuff in the buzzer to shut it up. We finally got hold of the engineer, who seemed surprised that we didn't know that the pass code was the hexadecimal value of the square root of the decimal value of the letter D. I guess it seemed quite simple to him."

Twofer Solution

Data entry worker regularly complains about being hot and says that her computer screen flickers when the mercury rises, too. "I respond while she's at lunch and can find no apparent problem," says a pilot fish. "CPU, hard disk, graphics card, CRT monitor -- everything checks out. That's until Ms. Hottie returns from lunch, hears the bad news and cranks up the 1960s vintage fan directly next to the monitor that causes her screen image to jump around like an aerobics instructor after a double espresso."

Rake Time

Pilot fish gets a second call from a remote user to restart her network printer after a jam. And this time, she's a little more forthcoming about what's wrong. "It seems the plant manager likes decorative plants in the office," fish reports. "In particular, there is a ficus tree that branches out above the printer. The printer jams were the result of leaves falling into the printer. The user has been unable to convince the PM to relocate the tree."

Seasons may change, but one thing stays the same: Sharky still wants your true tale of IT life at sharky@computerworld.com. You'll get a sharp Shark shirt if I use it.

Check out Sharky's blog, browse the Sharkives and sign up for Shark Tank home delivery at computerworld.com/sharky.

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What People Are Saying

Yes, No, No ...

This is funny (kind of!) I wonder in how many places this happens. Last time I had this, three days free seminar explaining how and what are the security requirements for XXX, I was told that I can't go? 16 miles so no cost, no travel, no lodging costs but we are too busy figuring out how and what has to be done for these security requirements for XXX!!!! Go figure, it took us over two weeks and later on reading the seminar blog all that was in first days program! Sometimes this business is weird!

EET MOR CHIK'N

EET MOR CHIK'N

I just use the number one,

I just use the number one, no one ever thinks of that, either

THANSK KOWBRICK GALD TO SEE

THANSK KOWBRICK GALD TO SEE YOUR STILL AROUND

Over at the dog food section

Over at the dog food section of the plant, at the plant picnic, they have chicken gut fights. Winner gets to take Chicken Queen home.

JIM, It took me five minutes

JIM,

It took me five minutes to pick myself from the floor, at WROKPALCE, and I busted a perfectly good chair falling out of it. I'm framing this one. It was so good that I decided you can use my photograph for another week on your web site!

SK

WHEN I WAS THE EXECITUVE

WHEN I WAS THE EXECITUVE VICE PERESIDENT AT TSYON CHICKEN OUR PIRNTER QUIT WROKING WHEN THE IT GUY OPENED IT UP IT WAS FULL OF BEAKS

That is so funny on so many different levels. The more I think about it, the funnier it gets.

Wyoming wrote: ...You make

Wyoming wrote: ...You make it sound like he was asking for an espresso machine or something.

Speak for yourself! Scr3w the training, I want an espresso machine! And I want it right here, next to my monitor...

OldestTimer wrote: I think

OldestTimer wrote: I think the guy is actually brilliant, but he's on such a different wave length than the rest of the human race it's mind blowing.

I wish I could find the exact quote - I need to give it to my wife and friends - but Scott Adams once said something along the lines of: I'm a really smart person, so I think differently from most people. As a result, most people think I'm a dumbXXX. The time and effort required to explain to them how I think just isn't worth it.

Re: "By the way, I use the

Re: "By the way, I use the first 22 digits of the Fibonacci code, you know 1123581321345589144233, when I reset user's passwords, but just for fun sometimes I leave out #7. Lots of fun...",

A ha, another triskadecaphobian! Which of course also leaves just 12 values (as opposed to 20 digits) in the code. New Hint, first 22 digits of Fibonacci code for a triskadecaphobian!