Aunt Donna, our resident agony aunt, makes her debut

I've decided that some of the letters I receive from readers are better answered by Aunt Donna, our resident agony aunt. Her advice is almost always spot on, and if there's one thing some of these people need, it's some good advice. So, Aunt Donna, here's the first letter. It comes to us from a reader in Santa Clarita, California , who wrote in response to my "Using Women" column:

I usually find your editorials to be nothing more than a bunch of boring liberal blather. Most of the time you can't seem to get further than the lame perspective that employers need to consider diversity first in their hiring practices rather than focusing on the bottom line, which is getting the job done and making money while doing it. At least some people (who I might add, live in the real world…something that journalists rarely do) who respond to your articles have the clarity of thought to recognize that it's more than just the hypothetical "glass ceiling" that keeps women from making more money or achieving the top posts. For example, do you ever consider angles such as the one mentioned on MSNBC the other day (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21547885/) about women calling in sick more? Seems to me that this provides a justifiable business case for lower pay and/or responsibilities (i.e. less promotions) based on ability to contribute to the bottom line. Of course, that probably wouldn't bode well with a smarmy, liberal one-big-family approach to the workplace (an idea that, I would argue, women introduced to the workplace in the first place). The workplace is for work and production, not social life. And talk about discrimination against women, I guess we need to stop opening doors for them or carrying heavy objects. If a woman can "do everything a man is supposed to do" then chivalry and special politeness have no place and the women need to pull the same weight as the men.

Anyways, enough off-topic stuff. I'm against the flesh displays that are put on at these sort of events just as much as you are; the same goes for sporting events and the like. However, you seem to place all the blame on the corporate sponsors. As an evangelical Christian who despises promiscuity and all of its "child processes" (sorry for the geek talk), I believe the blame should just as much be leveled at the women who participated. Too often the sponsors are the only ones held responsible for this sort of exploitation. However, part of the problem is that America has an endless supply of women who are willing to wear just about anything (or nothing at all) if it provides an advantage for them, even if that "advantage" is simply nothing more than extra cash. Think of how women exploit themselves on an almost daily basis to gain something they think will fulfill them, be it a new boyfriend, promoting their new music CD or movie, favors at work, or just a good night on the town. When sex is just another commodity to be traded, how can you possibly level the blame at a single party? Yes, there is a problem with those men who take advantage of the opportunity, but quite frankly, most women just don't work very hard to preserve their dignity, and they sell out all too easily.

You may not have experienced this to be true, perhaps because your worldview causes you to turn a blind eye toward or reinterpret these things. You might do well to take a good, hard look at the world our teenagers live in today. Sex is no longer an issue of morality among their generation (or even my own and I'm only thirty); in the context of their world your outrage at the Gartner Symposium is irrelevant. If people want it, and people will do what is wanted, what's the fuss?

Just some thoughts. Somehow I manage to keep reading your editorials even though they sicken me. Maybe I'm just looking for a glimmer of hope…or at least a little common sense.

Cameron M. Savage

*****

Dear Cameron,

My, my, listen to you! "I usually find your editorials to be nothing more than a bunch of boring liberal blather … lame perspective … smarmy, liberal one-big-family approach … As an evangelical Christian … keep reading your editorials even though they sicken me." Aunt Donna's senses aren't what they used to be, but my goodness! Even I can smell something that fishy!

Now listen, deary: If you're going to make a point of professing your religious devotion when you have something to say to somebody, don't load what you have to say with snide, mean-spirited remarks about the person you're addressing! You can't have it both ways, for goodness sake! You're either an uplifter of hearts or you're not! Now you go back and write something that truly reflects the loving, uplifting, evangelical Christian you!

Aunt Donna

Related Editorial by Don Tennant:

• The scantily-clad "ring girls' flap: Vanco and Gartner responded professionally
• Editorial: Using Women