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Sharky

Shark Tank

Shark Tank: Sometimes helpful, sometimes not so much

The Ultimate Fix: Reformat That Drive!
Secretary's PC won't boot up, and the reason is clear from the error message: a memory fault due to bad RAM. "Since these cheap units were recently purchased from a local vendor, I recommended that she have the vendor pick it up and replace the memory," says a pilot fish on the scene. But a day later, fish notices the problem PC is still sitting idle on the secretary's desk. Have you called the vendor? fish asks. "Oh no," she tells him, "my manager said all we need to do is reformat the hard drive." Sighs fish, "Fortunately, the real problem prevented them from trying to do that."

Too Easy
New call center gets some large plasma screens to display statistics -- but the facilities department installs them on one side of a wall and the PC that controls them on the other. "I just spent 10 minutes on the phone with our facilities manager trying to change the IP address of the machine," grumbles a pilot fish there. "An IT manager was working the keyboard and mouse and the facilities manager was yelling 'left, left, left, down, down, down, more, more, more, OK, too far!' I had them on mute most of the time so I could bring in other people to have a laugh at the insanity. Eventually, I just suggested he grab a flat panel off one of the call center PCs and plug it into the PC to see what he was doing. His response: 'Oooooohhhhh, good idea...'"

Unclear on the Concept
It's the late 1990s, and the government office where this pilot fish works handles requests for lists of registered voters. "It was my job to field orders, help people decide what they wanted and then produce the data file," fish says. "It always amazed me when people would call and request a list of all the unregistered voters in a district. I'd explain that we only had lists of registered voters. They would then ask how they could get the unregistered list. Tongue firmly in cheek, I would suggest that they purchase our list, print it out and then compare that list with a phone book. They would usually thank me for my assistance and not order anything at that time but say that they would get back to me."

User Logic
User's PC has mysterious problems, and nothing seems to help -- until this pilot fish starts to take it apart and discovers a calendar attached to the case with a small but very strong industrial magnet. Do you realize what a magnet this powerful can do to a computer? fish asks. User: "But it's being shielded by the calendar paper!"

Don't shield Sharky from your true tale of IT life. Send it to me at sharky@computerworld.com, and I'll send you a stylish Shark shirt if I use it.

Check out Sharky's blog, browse the Sharkives and sign up for Shark Tank home delivery at computerworld.com/sharky.

Need to vent your spleen?
Toss some chum into the roiling waters of Shark Bait. It's therapeutic! sharkbait.computerworld.com.

What People Are Saying

Da doo ron ron ron, da doo

Da doo ron ron ron, da doo ron ron ron.
(PC do run, Mac's don't).

Calendar paper doesn't do

Calendar paper doesn't do much for shielding 'round about December. Enjoyed the enjoy the tunes! 1963 was a VERY good year!!

Well, there it is...

Well, there it is...

My Ninth Dwarf says... OK,

My Ninth Dwarf says...

OK, To put this to bed..

The original Lyrics were written by:
Phil Spector
(actually Jeff Barry, Ellie Greenwich and Phil Spector)and they are about "Bill" (not Jill).

The Crystals first performed it circa 1963.


DA DOO RON RON
The Crystals

I met him on a Monday and my heart stood still
Da do ron-ron-ron, da do ron-ron
Somebody told me that his name was Bill
Da do ron-ron-ron, da do ron-ron

Yeah, my heart stood still
Yes, his name was Bill
And when he walked me home
Da do ron-ron-ron, da do ron-ron

I knew what he was doing when he caught my eye
Da do ron-ron-ron, da do ron-ron
He looked so quiet but my oh my
Da do ron-ron-ron, da do ron-ron

Yeah, he caught my eye
Yes, oh my, oh my
And when he walked me home
Da do ron-ron-ron, da do ron-ron

(Sax solo)

He picked me up at seven and he looked so fine
Da do ron-ron-ron, da do ron-ron
Someday soon I'm gonna make him mine
Da do ron-ron-ron, da do ron-ron

Yeah, he looked so fine,
Yes, I'll make him mine
And when he walked me home
Da do ron-ron-ron, da do ron-ron

(Fade on: Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah...
with: Da-do-ron-ron from background singers)

The "Jill" version was done by Shaun Casidy with slightly modified lyrics circa 1977


DA DOO RON RON
Shaun Cassidy

I met her on a Monday and my heart stood still
Da doo ron ron ron, da doo ron ron ron
Someboy told me that her name was Jill
Da doo ron ron ron, da doo ron ron ron

Yes, my heart stood still
Yes, her name was Jill
And when I walked her home
da doo ron ron ron, da doo ron ron ron

I knew what she was thinkin' when she caught my eye
Da doo ron ron ron, da doo ron ron ron
I looked so quiet but my oh my
Da doo ron ron ron, da doo ron ron ron

Yes, she caught my eye
Yes, but my oh my
And when I walked her home
da doo ron ron ron, da doo ron ron ron

Well, I picked her up at seven and she looked so fine
Da doo ron ron ron, da doo ron ron ron
Someday soon I'm gonna make her mine
Da doo ron ron ron, da doo ron ron ron

Yes, she looked so fine
Yes, I'll make her mine
And when I walked her home
da doo ron ron ron, da doo ron ron ron
Yeah, yeah, yeah
da doo ron ron ron, da doo ron ron ron
(repeat & fade)


Both the original and the cover were Number 1 hits

PC version: Somebody told me

PC version:
Somebody told me that its name was Bill/Jill.....

Somebody told me that her

Somebody told me that her name was Jill....

Farmers must be hAxORs since

Farmers must be hAxORs since we can live without any thing except for food so it would stand to reason farmers actually rule the world.

0/0, you must be a fellow

0/0, you must be a fellow Mother reader, but the other options you mentioned are either too labor intensive or expensive. I do know of a straw bale house close by though. I might try rocks, there's plenty of those around. I'm sure Mr. Gore lives in a "green" home... NOT!

Ludditian wrote: Dang it,

Ludditian wrote: Dang it, just as I was finishing putting on the the final touches on my mud hut, it started raining. Next time, I'm using old tires, Al Gore would be proud of me.

Or you can try straw bale, cordwood, or "berm" or "earth-sheltered" construction techniques. Any of them would make Mr. Gore quite happy, and more importantly, save you a lot of money to heat and cool. Of course, it might take a lot of time to hand-dig a berm house without the use of those "new-fangled" construction tools...

i AM FIRST. wILL ALWAYS BE

i AM FIRST. wILL ALWAYS BE BECAUSE hAxORs RULE THE WORLD. dONT FORGETS TO UPDATE YOUR NASTY LITTLE VIRUS PROGRAMZ WHACKERS.