Steve Ballmer's five most embarrassing videos of all time

Now that Steve Ballmer has officially become top dog at Microsoft, it's time to take a look at the man's worst video moments. How he appears on camera may give some hints about how he'll steer the company. So I've dug up Ballmer's five most embarrassing videos of all time. Kids, take note: It's not pretty.

1) Selling Windows 1.0 or is that 2.0?
Yes, I know this video of Ballmer selling Windows 1.0 (is it 2.0?) is supposed to be a parody of bad TV ads, with Ballmer in on the joke. But the joke here really is on Ballmer, because this is what he's clearly best suited for. This video makes it clear that if Ballmer isn't able to cut it as top dog at Microsoft now that Gates is gone, he clearly has a future selling used cars...SUVs and pickups, that is. Heck, if he can sell Windows 1.0, he can sell anything.

2) Launching Windows Vista with Ozzie and Harriet
Feel like cringing? Check out this video from the official Vista launch, in which Ballmer and Gates shanghai a "typical" American family to go onstage to say how much they loved beta testing Vista. Welcome to the 1950s --- all that's missing is the Beaver and Ozzie and Harriet. Compared to this, the Osmonds are the height of cutting-edge cool. The high point: Ballmer saying in a voice dripping with condescension, "Kids, on the count of three, we'll push the 'Wow-starts-now' button and launch Windows Vista!" Maybe the button malfunctioned; I don't think the Wow has started yet.

3) Egging on Ballmer
When Steve Ballmer went to a university in Budapest, it's unlikely he expected to be egged on by the crowd, at least in this manner. A student pelts the billionaire with eggs, forcing Steve to cringe behind the podium.

4) Thankfully, the Internet doesn't have smell-o-rama
Here's Ballmer at a developers conference, hysterically shouting the word "developers" over and over, as if it's some kind of bizarre Vedic chant. He's so drenched in sweat, you can practically smell him through the screen. Steve, you're a billionaire, you can afford anti-perspirant now.

5) The monkey boy dance
Here it is, perhaps the most infamous tech-related video of all-time. Watch Ballmer scream, screech, and hurl himself around the stage like an escapee from a mental institution, juiced up on too many illegal Korean amphetamines. Is this the best man to guide Microsoft's future? You be the judge.

Like this blog? Subscribe to the RSS feed!