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Sharky's picture
Sharky

Shark Tank

That's what we call 'competitive advantage'

It's the early days of home computers, and this utility company gets a fresh request to supply data to a government office, reports a pilot fish at the scene.

"I went on the new $20 million mainframe to extract the data," fish says. "After a lot of messing around, I realized the query could not be written to extract the data in the format they requested."

Fish doesn't want his company to miss the deadline, and he gets an idea. He generates a report and takes the data home to his own computer -- which boasts a whopping 48K of memory.

A little finagling in BASIC, and the report is in the right format. Then fish walks it back into work, dumps it into a file on the mainframe and prints it out.

"Our figures were checked and confirmed by the government office," says fish. "All the other companies failed to deliver the information, and we were phoned by every company afterwards asking how we did it. We never told them."

Sharky will never tell who you are. So send me your true tale of IT life at sharky@computerworld.com. You'll get an easily identified Shark shirt if I use it. Add your comments below, and read some great old tales in the Sharkives.

Now you can post your own stories of IT ridiculousness at Shark Bait. Join today and vent your IT frustrations to people who've been there, done that.

What People Are Saying

The early days of home computers

In the early-to-mid '80s I was designing the mechanical structure for a minicomputer. We needed four DIN connectors at the edge of each daughter board to connect to the backplane, and the tolerance stackups were killing us. I needed to do a Monte Carlo analysis, but there was no prepackaged software back then and I'm not a programmer. I eventually did write what I needed in BASIC, but it ran so slowly on our existing minis it was going to take forever. I ported it to my home computer and got it done much faster. Said home computer was a Sinclair ZX81. No, I didn't report that in my weekly status report.

--Jerry

Almost Older Than Dirt

This was just a little before my time but I did work on a mainframe in college. IT SUCKED!!! I also used to fix computers at the component level, but who cares now? The point of this story is why PCs eventually replaced mainframes in most business situations. There are some cases where the mainframe can't or shouldn't be replaced. For what it's worth, I liked the story but I like the history channel too.

Funny? What's the point?

Anecdote:
A brief narrative or story often serving tomake a point.Anecdotal evidence may accumulated to substantiate a case or suggest a conclusion. Or, an anecdote may be amusing or entertaining within itself. Anecdotes may be fictional, or non-fictional. ...
www.moonstar.com/~acpjr/Blackboard/Utility/Glossary.html
For more, go to Google and submit
define: anecdote
Get the point? You can have fun without laughing.

Still not Laughing

Sharky need to be more like Soup Nazi...No Shirt for You!

He can always recycle some from 10 year ago, probably forgot them by now.

That's what I call....

Jealousy! Disappointed you didn't think of that solution?

Doesn't need to be funny

Nothing says that the Shark Tank is supposed to be funny. They are stories from the IT work world. Some are funny. Some show the ingenuity of IT staff. Some show the ineptitude of users, management and/or fish. So, this one wasn't funny. Go read the comics or listen to last night's Letterman/Leno. :-)

Funny?

Actually, I think most of us come here since we believe/want the 'Tank stories to be funny, or at least ironic...and if it's not, then we count on the comments to step up to the plate...

And, this one is...using a home computer to get done what the mainframe couldn't? Now that is ironic!

Re:

I guess i don't see the irony since this is common for me to still do today. Not knocking all mainframe programmers, just the ones i work with.

I read Shark Tank to be amused, at least there's usually JIM and MUD HATER.

Thanks!

Awww, gee.

But that is the irony. In

But that is the irony. In the early days a 48k PC was a turtle compared to the big main frames yet it could do a job that the big dog couldn't.

Now, of course, my home computer is more powerful than anything I have at work. I prefer to work from home because it takes alot less time to compile than at work.

It wasn't always that way.