Industry


Ads by TechWords

See your link here


Sharky's picture
Sharky

Shark Tank

Trust in this order: eyes, code, users, management

This pilot fish is asked to write a script to keep an eye on a server at a remote site to make sure it's up and operational.

"After working on the code, I tested it," fish says. "It said the server was down. I spoke to the management, who insisted the box was up and it must be my script."

Fish tests the script against 15 other servers. It confirms that those servers are all up and operational.

Finally, he sends a tech to the remote site to check the server. Forty-five minutes later, tech calls to confirm that the server has crashed due to overheating. No one there knows when it crashed or how long it's been down, because no one noticed or complained.

Tech quietly reboots the server and fish confirms that the script can see it now.

Sighs fish, "I guess I should believe my own coding sometimes..."

Trust Sharky with your true tale of IT life. Send it to me at sharky@computerworld.com, and I'll file off the identifying marks and send you a sharp Shark shirt if I use it. Add your comments below, and read some great old tales in the Sharkives.

Now you can post your own stories of IT ridiculousness at Shark Bait. Join today and vent your IT frustrations to people who've been there, done that.

What People Are Saying

F L U F

This reminds me of my brief stint at Apple.

I was fresh out of college, uneducated on just how much better MS Server is than Mac OSX Server.

It was my 2nd day and I was tasked with remoting into one of our servers and changing some permissions.

It took me a while to figure out I can right click by holding down the apple key and click the mouse. Apples are made for ratards.

I tried and tried but I couldn't get the login screen to come up. I could, however, ping it. At the risk of getting called a n00b, I asked my co-worker, Steve Jobs.

"Yo Steve, I can't get on the server?"

[chuckles] "Sounds like a user issue. Noobs like you shouldn't even be allowed in my eyesight."

"Uh, well, can you get on?"

[he tries... I hear a error beep. Then again. And again. Steve's face is turning angry red.]

"MREAAHPPH!!! WHAT ON EARTH!#? THE SERVER CAN'T BE DOWN!! IT COULDN'T HAVE GONE DOWN BY ITSELF!! MY PRODUCTS AT THE BEST OUT THERE. JUST LOOK AT QUICKTIME!@! YOU TOOK IT DOWN DIDN'T YOU!!! YOU ARE FIRED."

"What! This is madness!"

"NO F L U F, THIS IS APPLE!!!!"

Without missing a beat, I packed up my things and headed out. Haven't looked back since. I did ask my friend who worked there afterwards what really went wrong.

Turns out a lookupd call caused it to freeze. A very common OSX Server issue.

Haven't bought an apple product since, and have no plans to.

Your Comrade,

F L U F

Tribute to F L U F

Each morning I awake to my boring alarm, rush through my shower and drive my minivan to work. I walk through the kitchen and grab some joe before sitting at my cubicle, eagarly opening firefox and surfing to computerworld to awaiting your daily post. Somedays I hit refresh every 15 minutes, in openmouthed awe, awaiting the sinful glee of your equal opportunity offending. And here I sit, on my apple, offended by what you said, but still wholely satisfied. The highlight of our null days has been fulfilled. F L U F! F L U F! Your name shall ring in the halls of computerworlds history.

Agree whole-heartedly!

Agree whole-heartedly! Although was a bit disappointed today.

OSX Servers?

I with you F L U F. The first time I saw one of those stupid, round, single button mice, I just figured that Apples were designed for victims of Thalidomide or industrial equipment accidents. Now, I have never heard of an OSX server. I just always assumed that Linux servers were used for Apple networks. Maybe that’s what Steve thought too – that’s why he expected 100% up time.

Apple Mice

You can use any USB 2 or 3 button wheel(less) mouse with any modern MAC. I don't care for the Apple mouse myself, so I substituted the mouse I had been using on my old Windows system. Works fine.
.
--- The Old Crab

Not Buying It

Oh come on, F L U F, obviously it wasn't Steve Jobs. That was Wozniak, wasn't it?

captcha: lambing mackendrick - a name guaranteed to get your son's butt kicked!

F L U F, you've finally gone too far...

Picking on genders, sexual orientation, race, that's small time stuff. You have NEVER faced a storm like that which results from offended Apple-heads!

Mr. F's aim was little off by a tiny bit

in one post he had mucked all macbooks and apple servers.

Mr. F missed iPhoney.

which without the movement feedback system, its not even a brick but a toilet tile about two levels below par from current celphones and smartphones.

NOW HLOD ON A MINUET

THE MAGANER SED THE SREVER WAS WROKIG THAT THYE END OF THE MATTER WHIO YOU GOIG TO BELEEIVE A MAN WHO SMRAT ENOUGFF TO BE THE BOSS OR SMOME INGORANT LAKKEY WHO TOO LAZZY TO GO SEE FROR HIMSLEF IF ANYONE NEED ME ILLL BE SUPER FORNICAM

Jim,

you're my hero.