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Sharky's picture
Sharky

Shark Tank

Um, no

This pilot fish works late into Thursday evening so he can get out of the city early Friday to go on a long weekend camping trip.

“I took my cell phone with me, but not my laptop, as the whole point of getting back to nature is to take a break from the civilized world,” fish says.

“The phone rings at 3:40 a.m. It's a technical support rep for the software-as-a-service application the company uses.”

Fish knows what the call is about -- he sent in a support case Thursday night, because it usually takes three or four days to get a response. But the female tech on the other end of the line wants to walk fish through the solution right now, if he'll just log into the company online business account.

First fish points out that it's not quite four in the morning, and then he explains that he's on a camping holiday with no laptop. Can I set up a teleconference after the weekend? he asks.

Tech replies that she can't do that because, if the issue isn't resolved now, fish's case number will go to the back of the line, which has been growing exponentially -- no doubt due to the extreme time difference between the Philippines, where she's calling from, and North America, where most of the customers are located.

Fish groggily replies that he can't do anything about it at the moment, and anyway, even though his phone works this far out in the woods, his laptop would have no way of connecting to the Internet. Even if he had brought the laptop along, it would make no difference.

Tech thinks for a moment, then says, “You are in a park right now. Is it a big park?”

Yes, fish says, but —

“There must be someone in the park that will let you use their laptop for five minutes,” tech exclaims. “Most people in parks are quite friendly, and there are many hot spots there. I will call you back in 15 minutes and we will fix the problem.” Click!

While you're waiting, e-mail Sharky. Send me your true tale of IT life at sharky@computerworld.com. You'll get a stylish Shark shirt if I use it. Add your comments below, and read some great old tales in the Sharkives.

Now you can post your own stories of IT ridiculousness at Shark Bait. Join today and vent your IT frustrations to people who've been there, done that.

What People Are Saying

F L U F bait

The fact that the tech was female is irrelevant to the story. It's like Sharky threw that in just to bait F L U F. Hmmm...

- the former Anonymous (for obvious reasons) who is seriously considering "Mr. Curtains" as a new name. That has such an ominous sound to it.

Fluf - it is NOT a 'fact'

Fluf - it is NOT a 'fact' that the tech support was female. Having submitted several ST items, I know they change the gender around - sometimes the age as well - to protect the innocent. So in this case, your sexist blather is more completely off the mark than usual.

New name for Fiery Canine - such an ominous sound

"-the former Anonymous (for obvious reasons) who is seriously considering "Mr. Curtains" as a new name. That has such an ominous sound to it."

Compared to The Arch Demon of Software, Mr. Curtains ought rightly be called Mr. Frilly Draperies. However, if The Arch Demon's CAPTCHA pleases you, use it.

CAPTCHA: baumann Net - No, baumann had nothing to do with the Net. Al Gore was the only one there at the beginning.

Would that then be....

Does that then mean....

It's curtains for you?

Yes, that is a bit ominous.

-- vrooomed --

Dangerous

This reminds me of the time I opened a support case on our time displacement servers. They were running fine, but were due for an unscheduled outage within the hour. So I called tech support, but she told me to beat it since they hadn't failed yet. Well, that set me off, so I said "hey, I'm working day and night here, so I want to get this resolved now!" Well, she said "hey, are you starting something with me, jim?" So I said (real sarcastically) "ohhh, you're bad!" She laughed and said "well that's the way you make me feel." I'd had it, so I screamed "leave me alone!" and hung up. I was glad she was out of my life.

Very nice...

...homage to MJ. Well done.

She's Out Of My Life

Michael Jackson sings She's Out Of My Life

Next Time...

I can just imagine how "friendly" other campers would be towards someone waking them up at 4am asking to use their laptop.

Next time you're out "camping" in the woods, turn off your cellphone. Especially when you bed down.

If you're going to commune with "Nature", you might as well disable all reminders of civilization.

There's rarely something so pressing it can't wait until Monday morning.

"I can just imagine how

"I can just imagine how "friendly" other campers would be towards someone waking them up at 4am asking to use their laptop."

That's what I was going to say. I had to laugh out loud at that one.

Argentina

Yeah right. "Camping in the woods". We've heard that one before.