Dating guru's 'tips' on how to use Windows smartphone as pocket-sized wingman

MsMobiles.com had a story yesterday headlined "Attract beautiful women using your Windows Mobile smartphone." It seemed like a stretch - isn't something like the $310,000 Vertu Cobra (encrusted with a pair of diamonds and 439 rubies) going to be a bigger hit at midnight in a skeazy nightclub? But try as I might, I...could...not...resist...clicking. I was well-rewarded with some cheesy tips.

The story is really a 3,500 word interview with Nick Savoy, allegedly "the leading dating coach in the United States." As President AND CEO of the Mystery Method Corporation, Savoy is literally an international man of mystery.

Savoy was out to promote his Love Systems SuperConference taking place in Las Vegas on Feb. 22-24 which, according to his Web site, will feature the "Greatest Line Up of Pick Up Guru's" ever seen (perhaps at the Sahara Hotel, anyway).

(Windows) Treo, (Linux) RZR2 V8, or iPhone?

So how to wield your Treo or BlackJack like some high-tech Spanish Fly? According to Savoy, whip it out - your smartphone, that is - "half an hour into the interaction, where you've temporarily separated her from her friends and you're sitting together in a quiet area of the bar. Part of the Comfort process is getting to know each other." In other words, if you're telling her a story about an "interesting or exotic pet," show her a picture of good 'ol Tony the Tarantula because it will make "you and your stories seem more real" (in her nightmares).

Yea verily, a picture is worth a thousand words. So use your smartphone to nonchalantly show pictures of yourself with a beautiful female (sister or cousin - she'll never know) so those words become, "Hot women like me; you should, too" repeated 140 times or so.

Of course, when executing this subtle move, "don't point her out or draw attention to her," says Savoy. "If she asks, don't be defensive. Say something like 'Oh that's my friend Kayla. You guys would really get along; she has the same crazy sense of humor that you do.' Act as if beautiful women are a normal part of your life. You can use video in the same way."

As Michael Scott (from The Office) would say: "That's what she said!"

Savoy's other tips are mostly in this vein: blindingly obvious for the target demographic (single tech-savvy dudes in their 20s and 30s) but impossible for any newbie to execute in a non-creepy way.

For instance, Savoy suggests playing her your favorite song stored on your smartphone. "Women like men who are passionate about anything...the passion is far more important than the interest or hobby or question," says Savoy. (Oh, really? Tell that to my wife next time she questions my passion for learning to order at a restaurant in Klingon.)

Or enter her phone number into your smartphone, making sure that she sees you associate it with a JPEG of a "dorky-looking girl." That way, when you call her back, you can pretend you thought you were calling that girl, she'll pretend to be offended, good-natured flirting will ensue, ha ha ha...The fatal flaw in this plan is if you are following Savoy's tips to a T, she'll probably have given you the phone number of her local pizza parlor.

You defile the Klingon tongue - by ordering tofu!

Savoy also has some curious tips about the "rhythm" of flirting via text message. Respond frenetically to her messages for a while, then ignore her completely.

"It shows without saying anything that you have other things to do, and makes her wonder and think about you," writes Savoy. "She might even text you to find out if she inadvertently offended you or did something wrong. Now, in her head, she is chasing you. This is good."

Who says men can't play hard to get, err, portray men of mystery?

Though the article is bylined, I got the sense the tips were regurgitated straight from Savoy's pick-up manual, "Magic Bullets," which costs $68. (Why $68? Why not go up one dollar? Did he want to hint at sex but still appear classy to the women? Such a mystery...)

Of course, the Windows Mobile premise is wrong: Savoy's tips should work equally poorly whatever smartphone you use. Though I'm sure there will be some Mac heads or open-sourcerers who will claim the iPhone or a Linux-based smartphone such as Motorola's RAZR2 V8 actually make you a smoooover operator.

Is a smartphone really a techie's best wingman? If so, what do you recommend?