Sharky

Questions that Sharky gets a lot

Q: What's a pilot fish?

A: There are two answers to that question. One is the Mother Nature version: Pilot fish are small fish that swim just ahead of sharks. When the shark changes direction, so do the pilot fish. When you watch underwater video of it, it looks like the idea to change direction occurred simultaneously to shark and pilot fish.

Thing is, sharks go pretty much anywhere they want, eating pretty much whatever they want. They lunge and tear and snatch, but in so doing, leave plenty of smorgasbord for the nimble pilot fish.

The IT version: A pilot fish is someone who swims with the sharks of enterprise IT -- and lives to tell the tale. Just like in nature, a moment's inattention could end the pilot fish's career. That's life at the reef.

Q: Are all the Sharky stories true?

A: Yes, as best we can determine.

Q: Where do the Sharky tales come from?

A: From readers. Sharky just reads and rewrites and basks in the reflected glory of you, our readers. It is as that famous fish-friendly philosopher Spinoza said, "He that can carp in the most eloquent or acute manner at the weakness of the human mind is held by his fellows as almost divine."

Q: Do I have to write my story in Sharky-ese?

A: No. Not at all. Just be sure to give us details. What happened, to whom, what he said, what she said, how it all worked out. If Sharky likes your tale of perfidy, heroism or just plain weirdness at your IT shop, he will supply his particular brand of Shark snark.

Q: I've got a really funny story, but I could get fired if my old trout of a boss found out I told you. How confidential is what I send to Sharky?

A: We don't publish names: yours, your boss's, your trout's, your company's. We try to file off the serial numbers, though there's no absolute guarantee that someone who lived through the incident won't recognize himself. Our aim is to share the outrageous, knee-slapping, milk-squirting-out-your-nose funny tales that abound in the IT world, not to get you fired. That would not be funny.

Q: How do I get each new Shark Tank tale emailed to me?

Easy. Subscribe to the newsletter.

Q: Where are the Sharkives?

Tales of old can be found in Sharky's archive.

Throwback Thursday: See if you can wriggle out of this one

Throwback Thursday: See if you can wriggle out of this one

It’s just her way of saying thanks.

A real light bulb moment

A real light bulb moment

Watt’s it all about?

He heard you fine

He heard you fine

Oh, before I leave, what’s GNU?

But isn’t that better than the actual goal?

But isn’t that better than the actual goal?

Unclear on that whole ‘garbage in’ concept.

He’s got his number

He’s got his number

It really could have been much worse.

Throwback Thursday: Oh, sorry, did someone sell off half of YOUR capacity?

Throwback Thursday: Oh, sorry, did someone sell off half of YOUR capacity?

And are you sure that that metaphorical pipe is draining FLOODwater?

Gone but not forgotten

Gone but not forgotten

The real reason the dot-com bubble burst?

Time-Machine Tuesday: She’s in the dark most days

Time-Machine Tuesday: She’s in the dark most days

Screen blank, nobody home.

The jig is up

The jig is up

Join the tech workforce for high-voltage adventure!

Peace of mind (but nothing else)

Peace of mind (but nothing else)

Black boxes rarely bear good news.

Throwback Thursday: Third wave’s the charm

Throwback Thursday: Third wave’s the charm

The buckle stops here.

Wayback Wednesday: The fobbit

Wayback Wednesday: The fobbit

Or, ‘There and back again.’

Excel-lent!

Excel-lent!

We’re all adults here, right?

It’s really no mystery

It’s really no mystery

Everyone, be more like Chris, except for the exceptionally tardy part.

Penny wise

Penny wise

Well, it would be nice to have the must-haves.

Throwback Thursday: Pics, or it didn’t happen

Throwback Thursday: Pics, or it didn’t happen

You have to admit the client was paying attention.

Brother’s keeper

Brother’s keeper

Is he aware it’s not his own personal server?

Oops!

Oops!

Now his angry emails take forever to get here.

Memory-Lane Monday: Please tell me his name wasn’t Jones

Memory-Lane Monday: Please tell me his name wasn’t Jones

OTOH, a sticky on user’s monitor with nothing on it but his name won’t give anything away.

Name game

Name game

It’s complicated for YOU?

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